Unnamed events of this morning have pulled me down. I no longer walk outside and embrace the sunshine, instead I curse it. I am in a foul mood and I want everyone and everything, including the solar system to align with me. I wish sad music on the radio and somber songs on iPods. I want the earth to be depressed with me. Two hours late I embark to the store, where nothing is right. I wander aimlessly down the aisles like a lost 5 year old. I forget what I came for and forget even further that there is a list in my back pocket. Half my list in cart, I emptily thank that cashier and retreat home. Here, I can play my sad song list and digest the morning. I am feeling more down than I have in weeks. My high ruined, and my buzz killed. Reality has come and smacked me in the face again and it burns. I don’t know what to do. Today I am wishing I was a lost five year old, because the world and grown up decisions would weighed less then. If I were five I wouldn’t need a job, or understand what a job was. If I were five I wouldn’t know how to spell and feel depressed. If I were five, I would feel alive and free. This too shall pass… I just keep telling my twenty-eight year old self that.
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