Today I am overtly scared, not to be confused with a typical day of hidden fear. Today I have lunch with an old vendor. From her email I get the sense that she wants to talk business over lunch. The email tone, along with the side comments made to me ever since I announced my voluntary retirement lead me down this train of thought. I must be open an inviting of any and all possibilities, but I am hesitant about this one. I don’t know why. I have no confirmation that they will even offer me anything, but I am still hesitant. My mind drifts to sensational and unrealistic offers that I couldn’t refuse. I imagine an offer with part time hours and triple time pay. I imagine balloons surrounding me and confetti showering me as they place the offer on the table. I imagine the offer leads to fame and fortune beyond my wildest dreams. And then I wake up. Reality hits and I realize that even if it is a great offer I need to be objective. Do I need income that bad? Would taking a job from them defeat the purpose of leaving my past job? Would I be setting out? Sometimes I hate my mind and the endless scenarios it can set in motion.. I tell myself that at the very least it’s a free lunch. It may be a lunch free of job offers too… only time will tell.
Ok, back after lunch. It was, as I subconsciously suspected- more of a catch up lunch. It was wonderful to catch up with old friends and co-workers and chat over chips ‘n cheese. Currently there aren’t any openings at their company that are a fit for me. The door has been left open for contract position, consulting or project by project employment. I’m satisfied with the outcome. I should learn that in life, no one is going to offer you a dream job- you must dream it then wake up and go steal it. A fine end to a fine week.
Dollars Spent today: $0
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