Day 56 3/10/08 The merry go round, and round and round

Why do we continually repeat our mistakes and recycle our poor habits and bad behaviors? How many times do we have to tell ourselves that we’ll never do something again, only to do it again the very next day. This dawned on my again last night as I was filing down a nail I’d chomped off. As a child I was big into nail biting, but when I grew up I envied long nails and vowed to grown mine out no matter what. I slip every once and awhile and every time my nail breaks voluntarily I tell myself that “this is the last time.” If a cat has nine lives, then how man ‘last times’ can one person have? I presume to have at least a million because I’ve probably told myself a million times to stop doing one thing or another. It’s like we all experience temporary amnesia and sanity kicks in one split second too late. We become so fixated on a chipped nail, a ripe pimple, stray grey hairs, and blisters.

For the record, I’ve never heard of an instance where someone need their stomach pumped because they ate too many fingernails. A mouth is a human nail clipper and in a pinch it’s all you got. Gross but true. I think that chipped nails need immediate emery board attention or you’re doomed. Not to be vulgar but most pimples need popping. How many times have you been talking to someone and all you can see is a full pimple on their chin? You’re entranced by it and you spend the entire conversation wondering to yourself how they can’t see it, or why they don’t just pop it. Stray grey hairs are annoying and must be plucked. Seven more will not grow back in their place and even if they do, just pluck those suckers too. Blisters were meant to be drained. All that rubbing needs some relief. And don’t lie to yourself, there is a sick satisfaction in biting nails, popping pimples, plucking hairs and draining blisters. There is nothing to be ashamed of, we all feel the same way. Go ahead, just admit it. Just pop it, you’ll feel better.